why mama drinks – part 2 of 3,926


“Mama, you would get me a white blindfold,” Brooke says, as she walks the perimeter of the den.

“What’s that, sweetheart?”

“You would get me a blindfold that is WHITE,” she says, running her fingers lightly along the windowsill as she passes by.

“I’m sorry, love,” I begin. “I’m not sure what you mean. I don’t think we have a white blindfold in the house.”

“Mama,” she says, now making her way around the couch, “you would get me a piece of paper that is white with a hole in it the biggest.”

“Hmm, umm, OK, honey, I’m still not sure what it is that you’re looking for,” I say, hoping for a clue.

“Mama, COULD you get me a white piece of paper please?”

“Of course, love. You asked very nicely. Great job.”

I head into the office and return with a white piece of paper.

“Mama, you would cut a hole in it the biggest like this,” she says, tracing a big circle in the air with her finger.

“OK, love. You want me to cut a hole in the middle?”

“Oh yeah.”

I fold the paper and cut a circle in the center. I then hold it up in front of my face to show her the finished product. I peer at her through the hole, hoping for a sign of approval.

“Well THAT’S not a good blindfold,” Β she says as she walks out of the room.

I stand alone in the den, looking at the world through the worst blindfold ever, at a complete loss as to what just happened.

19 thoughts on “why mama drinks – part 2 of 3,926

  1. ok, john, you know I adore you, but your explanation completely ignored the hole. which was pretty central (ridiculous pun not intended, i swear) to the story.

    hey lady, your story has a hole in it –
    yeah, i know .. i just don’t know why!

    but i have to say, i really like m’s assessment. and thanks for seconding it, timmy’s mom. i’d like to think that i do a bad job well.

    either that, or at some point this kid’s gonna look at me and say,’hey, mama, remember when i pretended not to be able to communicate with you very well just so i could screw with you? wasn’t that funny?’

    chin chin, mama edge

  2. If I were to guess, I’d say she envisioned a stretchy fabric sweatband; one whose topology is roughly approximated by the paper thing you made. Such a thing makes a fine blindfold. However, the paper thing is totally worthless for her intended purpose where the sweatband would have been fully functional.

    No wonder she was disappointed!

    I am going to be out your way on the 23rd if you are around.

    And finally, I have a post on my newest book on the blog, if you have a chance to leave any thoughts on it.



  3. hee. this really cracked me up. your confusery: our gain.

    you know, when she asked you to make it, she didn’t specify whether she wanted a good or bad blindfold. so maybe the one you made, the “not a good one” was exactly what she wanted. i mean, a blindfold that you can see through IS a terrible blindfold, by definition. she requested the hole…so yes, she was complimenting you there at the end.

  4. I still think John had it right. I imagine she was asking you to make a loop out of the paper that she could pull over her eyes. Maybe she struggles with spatial orientation the way I do — which is the only reason I don’t score big on those Mensa exams (cuz, you know, otherwise I am a friggin genius *snort*).

  5. Oh, Brooke. Jess, I can’t remember where you live. But if you ever care to take a long trip for the safe of one autism-friendly babysitter, you just let me know.

    I can’t say that I know what she wanted, but I’m here remembering half a dozen similar interactions between my mom and I when I was about Brooke’s age. It’s making me laugh. So, now I read your post to my mom, and we’re both laughing. Thanks for that πŸ™‚

    But seriously, about that babysitter thing? Lol…

  6. babe, i just cracked open a mike’s light after a very similar exchange with finn, in which he emphatically shook something stringed at me yelling “you tie this! you tie this!” and i tied, and he cried because i had so badly ruined whatever he had in mind.

  7. A headband like John described is a circle. So that she asked you to cut a circle out of white paper makes sense to me. Instead of a circle, if you cut a strip of white paper and taped the ends together, it would make a circle and look like a sweatband and could function as a blindfold. Maybe that’s what she was going for?

    In any case, after reading the post, your title made sense and gave me a chuckle.

  8. Well, it’s kind of like this: I seriously hope that someday in the future, regardless of when that may be, that I get to meet your girls. I mean, yes, I want to meet you too, but… I really, really want to meet Katie and Brooke. And if you and Luau could get a night out out of the deal? Well, hey!

    A girl can dream, right?

    That’s so awesome that you have found Julie! Growing up, my mom used my grandma as my babysitter… I honestly can’t remember being watched by anyone but my parents or her. I was always thrilled to hang out with Daw (what we called my grandma) anyway, so it worked really well. But I think it would be pretty hard to find someone who really ‘gets your kids outside of family… I’m sure you know all about that, though. It must be great to go out and know that the girls aren’t just “okay” but having a good time, safe and sound!

  9. Pingback: Why Mama Eats Blue Cotton Candy « Autism In a Word

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