and i'm stickin to it



i promised to keep it light this week and by god i’m stickin’ to my guns. i will not follow the white rabbit down the rabbit hole. i will not pass go nor collect $200, which i’m sure is down to like $98 or so in this economy anyway. nope. my arms are folded, my chin is out.

i just won’t do it.

so i won’t tell you how sad it was last night when katie came into brooke’s room looking pale and scared and said, ‘mama, I think spaulding died.’

i won’t tell you how hard it was not to cry right along with her as she mourned the loss of her first pet.

i won’t tell you how my heart broke for my baby girl as she wept or how she just kept saying, ‘i’m just so sad, mama. i really loved him.’

i won’t tell you how my mind found its way to vicki forman or how my heart wondered just how she has survived the loss of her beautiful boy with such incredible grace and honesty.

i won’t tell you how bittersweet it was when katie thanked me for being there for her and for just letting her cry or how she wondered aloud how it was that i could have known exactly what she needed.

i won’t tell you how she asked luau if he could tell brooke that it would really be nice if maybe she could tell her that she was sorry that her fish had died.

i won’t tell you how awkward the scene was when brooke came in and parroted, ‘katie, i’m sorry your fish died’ or how touching it was that katie needed that from her sister.

no, none of that will fit into my ode to frivolous folly this week.

and so instead, i’ll leave you with this:

after all was said and done, katie and i cuddled together in my bed. we found the perfect distraction in last week’s episode of america’s got talent. i had already seen it; she had not. a group came on that i had been impressed with upon first viewing. i excitedly told her that they were great and i thought that she’d really enjoy their show.

she said, ‘ooh, i heard these guys are really good!’

i was puzzled. who the heck is she discussing america’s got talent with? i asked her where she had heard that from.

she looked up at me through red, teary eyes. with just the slightest hint of a smirk she said, ‘right here, mama. you just said it a second ago. hullo?’

yes, that’s what i choose to share. funny. cute. resilient.

yup. that’s my story and i’m stickin to it.

14 thoughts on “and i'm stickin to it

  1. How did you know exactly what Katie needed?? I wonder if it’s because you are a wonderful mama and intuit your babies all the time or is it that you love them more than life itself, or is it all of that….?

    Katie is so special and so fortunate to have you Luau, and Brooke.

  2. sad, sad about the pet. i like that you both comforted yourself with brain pringles, which is very much in keeping with your theme of the week.

    just out of curiosity, who named the pet? where did the name spaulding come from? i’m assuming katie is a big fan of the late monologist spaulding gray.

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