you owe me restistupid


Yesterday afternoon, I got an e-mail from Brooke’s aide. Yes, I sometimes get notes in the middle of the school day. Yes, we have the best support staff EVER. Yes, I do completely understand and appreciate that fact. Moving on ..

She wanted to let me know that she’d had a conversation with Brooke that she’d found a bit concerning. She wasn’t overly riled, but wanted to check in. And upon reading her note, even though I was laughing so hard that I snorted, I understood completely. You see, if one is not well versed in the dialogue of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, it might just strike them as a little odd when Brooke is on an exercise machine and she yells out, ‘I’ll fly flat on my back and kill myself!” Yes, perhaps out of context, it doesn’t sound so good.

However, if you’ve seen Charlie Brown try to kick that damned football enough times, and if you’ve heard him say to Lucy, “You just want me to come running up to kick that football, then pull it away so you can see me fall flat on my back and kill myself!” approximately 6,432 times .. well, you might just start to get the hang of it.

Or, if perhaps one day last weekend you just happened to grab your phone and videotape your daughter in her PJs reciting Sally’s angry string of epithets at Linus because her rendition was about the funniest thing you’d ever seen, well .. let’s just say you wouldn’t be too concerned.

(But I do appreciate her checking in.)



(The ‘real’ words .. I was robbed! I spent the whole night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, when I could have been out for tricks or treats. Halloween is over, and I missed it! You blockhead. You kept me up all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and all that came was a beagle. I didn’t get a chance to go out for tricks or treats. And it was all your fault. I’ll sue! What a fool I was! I could have had candy apples and gum and cookies and money and all sorts of things, but no, I had to listen to you. You blockhead. What a fool I was. Trick or treats come only once a year. And I missed it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead. YOU OWE ME RESTITUTION! )

24 thoughts on “you owe me restistupid

  1. WOW!!!!!! I couldn’t remember that and also deliver it with such emotion.
    See Jessica, it is coming as surely as day follows night and one day the night will be almost invisible.
    What beauties our babies are.
    I love you all.

  2. Snort! I have friends who quote entire scenes from “Reservoir Dogs” with less passion! What I loved were her eyes- she looked so happy to be entertaining you. Thanks for sharing- and how lovely that the aide called you…

  3. Something tells me that girl’s got a future in the theater! (Um, hello, Drama? Sign this kid quick!)

    This put a smile on my face on this gloomy, rainy morning.

  4. That’s so funny!!! My daughter scripted the exact same scene, how funny is that. It definitely sounds a little strange out of context. She used to shout at her brother ‘you owe me restitution!!!”

    On another note, Check out the eye-contact!! great job.

    • that’s my favorite line!

      the funny thing about the ‘eye contact’ is that it *looks* like she’s looking right at me (or the viewer) because she’s looking at the phone. she keeps looking at it to see if she can see herself. half the videos i have end abruptly with her whole body in the shot as she comes around to see the screen and says, ‘do it on TV!’

  5. This is great! I’ll never forget the time that one of Nigel’s aides was concerned about Nigel saying, “It’s my gun; you’ve got no right to take it!” when he was angry about something. It’s a line from Disney’s Swiss Family Robinson. God only knows what that aide must have thought of our household!!

  6. I’d love to collect these stories into a book of humor for parents new to this awesome, terrifying land. Imagine the looks I get when my 6-year-old son belts out his favorite Michael Jackson tunes in Target, Sam’s Club, etc. Case in point: “Billie Jean is not my lover, she’s just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son!” Then you have my mischievous mother, who taught her grandson to refer to her 70-year-old neck as a “turkey neck” and he figured out on his own to flick her neck while saying “Gobble, gobble.” I’m praying he has very young teachers (with no sagging skin) until this little repetitive play passes.

    My recent favorite was when I insisted that he go to sleep in HIS bed instead of MY bed and he looks at me (from his father’s pillow where he’s making himself comfortable) and quotes Alvin and the Chipmunks, “So, Mommy, how’s that working for you?” If someone had told me three years ago how much fun I’d be having (in the midst of anxiety, self-doubt and stress), I would have thought they were playing Pollyanna to my personal tragedy. Thanks for reminding us to keep things in perspective, and to laugh when life is funny!

  7. We’ve watch 7 times. Seven! The 7th time was after my little one said, “Again, again, I’m begging you. ‘Restistupid!’ Oh, she’s killing me.” Yup…4 is the new 44.

  8. LOVE IT!!! I usually check your blog before going to work – and end up all kinds of sappy as a result lol! Today, however I was running late and just checked. Oh how I wish I woke up ten minutes earlier! This would have made me giggle ALL day! Too cute!

  9. This reminds me of the back to school night speeches where the teacher promises to not believe half of what your children say about your home life and you promise to not believe half of what they say about their school life!

  10. nice example of scripting…and the way that it’s not always a bad thing. the fact that she was using it in that context: funny, cute. i love that she gets these lines in her head and is then able to use them playfully, creatively. she’s a smartie. hee. thanks for posting this…it’s the highlight of my day.

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