when cuteness attacks

I’m exhausted.

Scrapping to get my kid what she needs? Easy. Bring it on.

Fighting with diplomacy and restraint to bring the message to a MUCH wider audience? Utterly exhausting.

Digging deep to find grace when all you want to do is lash out and btch-slap some common sense into someone? Draining as all get out.

This political stuff ain’t easy, my friends. No matter how natural my incredible friends (you know who you are, J, S!) may make it look.

It’s taken its toll. My body has staged a protest and forced me to slow down. No more three am e-mails, tough girl, it’s yelled. And that means no more midnight strategy sessions either, damn it.

I spent the last forty-eight hours in bed with something akin to the plague. I’ve been tired, frustrated, tense and bored.

But in the middle of it all, there’s been one thing that’s made me smile. A video, a mere five seconds long, that I took last weekend. Yup, five seconds. And I’ve watched it again and again, and yet again still. It has yet to let me down.

It reminds me why I’m fighting and who I’m fighting for (Yes, Mom, I know that sentence should read ‘For whom I’m fighting’, but let’s be honest, that sounds funny). It reminds me why diplomacy is so important, why grace is so necessary and why I cannot burn a single bridge that my girl may someday need to cross. Above all, it reminds me why throwing in the towel is simply not an option.

I call it, “When Cuteness Attacks.” A five second reminder that, as my friend, S says, if the answer is no, I simply have to ask again.

Mama’s got your back, baby girl.

And you can bet your life that I’m gonna keep on trying.


Ed Note: My letter to the President continues to gain steam. If you haven’t already, please – > click here <- to leave a comment. In case we can’t get the attention of the most powerful man in the free world, I thought perhaps we’d knock on the door of the most powerful woman. If you’d like to help me attempt to enlist Oprah’s support, -> click here <-. Please be sure to include a link to the letter!

I pray that we see a blue White House next week, but I truly believe that no matter what happens, we have begun to plant the seeds of awareness that will ultimately lead to change. Thank you all for your incredible support.

22 thoughts on “when cuteness attacks

  1. Just keep this video on constant loop in your head, sweetie! And listen to your body, too. Sometimes you’ve got to lay low so you can rise up and fight even harder another day. Sending you hugs and good health. xo

  2. It reminds me why I’m fighting and who I’m fighting for is just fine, Jess. It’s just fine, wise-guy!

    I love you (anyway).

  3. If the president could just know for a glimpse what our lives are like! I have 2 boys with Autism and there are nights I cry myself to sleep. Autism tests my marriage, my strength, my patience, and my sanity. Many days I feel so alone from the pure ignorance of far too many. I have unsupportive family who offer no assistance or understanding. I am doing everything on my own with no help or down time.

    • I have a family who is largely nonsupportive as well. I don’t think they understand the slightest bit what we are going through. How this beats at the structure of our family. How it wears at our marriage, how it affects siblings, how it stresses our lives…. Yes my friend I do know what you are feeling and no you are not alone.

    • I’m on that road with you. I have a boy and a girl with autism… and two other children. My family is, with the exception of my mother, completely unsupportive. My marriage is on shaky ground too.

      It may not help much but I really wanted you to know you are not alone.

  4. Really… ALL the Warrior Mamas amaze me.

    Jess, you see, there’s a very seldom used phrase, you’ve probably never heard of it…


    Love you!

    LOVE those ladies that know who they are, too… ‘Fierce’ and ‘Relentless’.

  5. I’m guilty of perseverative video watching too. (This one is just the right dose, by the way. Thank you, sweet girl…) In a world of inflated fiscal notes and God-awful partisan politics, it’s the only thing that keeps me from throwing up my hands and walking away.

  6. Love your squeal at the end, makes me laugh every time I watch it! Yes, you are right, we’ve planted the seeds, now it’s time to watch it grow (with some help of course) Rest Mama, you need it, even if you’re bored.

  7. She’s perfect, Jess. Perfect. I daresay not one person on this planet could not become infected by your angel’s smile. Not a one. Rest up, Mama. The cogs are moving. And even if that great big white house isn’t blue on April 2nd, a movement has started right here. A movement that will engender tolerance and understanding. It will go down in the history books. Remember, my friend, change happens over time. Wishing you strength and sanity while you convalesce.

  8. Jess, Though I rarely comment yours is one of a small handful of blogs I read regularly. Had to tell you that my Mr. Wonderful (at 10 can synthesize a lot of scientific literature on the cosmos, also has a fine-grained appreciation for the Teletubbies) heard your clip, came running, loved it, watched it with me 3 times. Completely infectious–both your cute and mine. Karin

  9. Jess,
    Beautiful sweet video. Just so sweet, so simple, so perfect! I think we all need one of these that we can click on anytime to remind us to breathe…to be still.
    Well I finally finished the post on my blog directing people to the Light The White House Blue link and also to your blog and also your Oprah post from yesterday. I took a little different angle. I am sending the post on over to the White House and to Oprah. As always thank you for sharing your journey…your story. Please know that you are being held by many…hope you can feel it…

  10. I pray you are on the mend, Jess. The body is a wonderful thing in that it gives you a warning before it shuts down. Bless you.

  11. Just wanted you to have a carbon copy. ; )

    Dear Oprah,

    My friend Jess speaks for so many of us. She sees into our hearts and souls. She knows our daily struggles because she also lives them. Her words envelope us with support, often unmatched by even close family and friends. They mend us when we are broken and need to be strong. We haven’t even met her but she is our voice. Jess is an integral part of this village of people who love and care for a child(ren) with Autism.

    Here is her letter to you.

    Here is her letter to us.

    Kara Wilson

  12. I clicked play, and even though my girl couldn’t see the screen from where she was, she immediately started laughing and mimicking Brooke. Over and over again, we played the clip. And over and over again, she laughed and tried to talk. Give a big thanks to Brooke for me, please. Because this autism momma and her non-verbal girl enjoyed being attacked with cuteness. 🙂

  13. That is infectiously adorable.

    You speak for so many of us, and you do it so beautifully. Take care of yourself, and keep remembering to smile. Feel better soon.

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