Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
~ Swedish Proverb
I worry that there’s something we’re missing.
I worry that we see too much.
I worry that she doesn’t get enough attention.
I worry that she’s over-indulged.
I worry that we’re too hard on her – that we expect too much.
I worry that we’re too lenient – that we don’t expect enough.
I worry that some social cues seem to fly over her head – not like her sister, different. And yet.
I worry that she sometimes can’t seem to stay on task.
But she’ll read for hours.
I worry that when she struggles and says, “It’s hard for me too, ya know.”
That I don’t.
I worry that I don’t take her challenges seriously enough.
I worry that I over-analyze what is completely typical behavior.
For Heaven’s sake, something is hard for everyone, right?
I worry that I rationalize away what should be concern.
I worry when Luau and I turn to each other in the quiet moments and say it out loud.
I worry when we don’t.
I worry that she always seems just slightly out of step with her peers.
I love that she doesn’t go along with the crowd.
I worry that she is too rule based.
I am proud that she takes rules seriously.
I worry that she’s such a visual learner – that she says she has to see it to take it in.
I love that she knows what she needs.
I’m worried that so many friends have a child on the spectrum.
And then realize they have – have always had – two.
I worry that she’s so damned sensitive.
I think it’s fabulous that she is so damned sensitive.
I worry that she needs more than she gets.
I worry that I don’t see what’s in front of me.
I worry that I do.
I worry all the time.