perfect perspective

I snuck into Brooke’s room tonight when we got home from the Autism Speaks event. It was long after her bedtime so I was shocked to find her lying in bed wide awake. I told her I’d spent the evening with a whole bunch of moms and dads who also had kids with autism and that we all talked about how proud we are of them, how awesome they are and how they can do anything they want to do in this world. I still don’t know how much – if any – of that stuff gets through. I have no idea what the word autism means to her – or if it has any meaning at all. But I’m going to keep saying it. I’m going to keep saying it.

~ Diary’s FB status, Saturday night 10pm


@diaryofamom at #TPGA #autism Vital: keep reminding world re our children, perception is everything. #autismsunday

~ Tweet from @lizditz, a co-editor of Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism yesterday at noon


As I put Brooke to bed last night, I whispered in her ear. I don’t know why it was those particular words. They were simply what came out.

“You are perfect, baby.”

“I am?” she asked.

“Yes you are,” I said. Then added, “And there is nothing in this world that you can’t do.”

Her next response was nothing I would ever have predicted. It sounded like a script, the cadence of the words giving it away as such, but for the life of me I couldn’t tell you the book or show or previous conversation from which it came.

Perhaps it was something she’d heard at school. Perhaps it’s something we’ve said without hearing ourselves say it. Its origin didn’t matter. The words were perfect.

“We don’t think about what we CAN’T do,” she said. “We think about what we CAN do!”

I beamed at my girl.

“See?,” I said. “I told you you’re perfect.”

Really, what more is there to say?

28 thoughts on “perfect perspective

  1. It’s all in the way she’s being taught by you and Luau and Katie and everyone you let into your lives. It’s perfect!

    I love you,

  2. This is perfect and beautiful. Just like her. And you.

    A long long time ago, when I was so proud of something my son said because it was so appropriate and “perfect” even though it sounded scripted, you said to me : who gives a flying whatever if it’s a script or not! It means they have taken the line and figured out how to use it at the right time.

    And that is perfection.

  3. Reblogged this on Puzzled Parent and commented:
    I wonder sometimes if they understand way more than we give them credit for. Sometimes my guy knows just what I need WHEN I need it. They are perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing about any of my three boys. God made them just right.

  4. This week my daughter asked about autism for the first time. We were at the library and out of the blue she asked me “Do I have autism in the library?” When I answered yes she then went on to ask about all the other places in her life – “Do I have autism in the car? At home? at school?” etc. She then told me she thought another boy in her speech class had autism too (he does).I have no idea what prompted her questions and until she asked, I had no idea how much she had been taking in when we talk about autism with her. Like you, I’m going to keep saying it.

  5. Wow- what a sweet moment. 🙂 I think those moments are twice as sweet for moms like us.

    Your daughter looks to be about the same age as mine- it seems rare to find another parent of a daughter with autism- I have a son with autism too, but it’s nice to connect with other moms of daughter because I think autism expresses itself differently in girls than it does in boys.

  6. That’s amazing. I do the same with my son almost every night, & just like you, I don’t know how much of what I say actually gets through to him but in my heart I know he understands.

  7. I’m actually taken off guard and very envious of this. My son is now 11 years old, he was diagnosed when he was 2, and does not have the positive outlook your daughter seems to have. In fact he is extremely negative and a true pessimist. This is something I have grown to realize is “typical” for kids with ASD. All other kids I have encountered have been the same in this respect. All doctors, lectures, seminars and other moms I’ve spoken with echo my sentiment about this obsessive gloom and doom attitude. I have never known a girl with ASD though and wonder if that makes a difference or not. Either way I hope my son is able to see the world in such a way one day. Of course he would have to see the world first, like most kids with ASD he is extremely focused on himself and himself only. He would never refer to an “us” only to “him” and rarely sees what’s going on around him. And yes my husband and myself are very proactive and constantly telling how much he is loved, how special and wonderful he truly is. It makes little to no difference, most of the time he doesn’t “hear” it and the rest of the time he says he doesn’t deserve it or even care. *sigh*

  8. I totally believe my 7 y o ASD son knows more than he appears to. I forgot to give our house guest an extra pillow after he complained of a sore neck. When I apologised he said that someone had left an extra pillow on his bed for him. After interrogating everyone in the house I realised it must have been my son… maybe it was a fluke but I think it’s highly possible that it was done with purpose.

  9. It’s because she believes what her momma says when she says she is perfect, and that she CAN DO anything she wants to do. That belief in herself will push her to do what it takes to achieve her “happiness”.
    Love you so…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s