all good


~ Diary’s Facebook status, Saturday afternoon


It started with this ..

Mama said no.

Which might have come out sounding a little bit like “Over my dead body, child.”

Then there was this ..

Mama said, “What’s that, love? I’m not familiar with dip dye.”

Which might have come out sounding a little bit like, “Huh? What the hell is that?”

Then there was the persuasion phase.

With words like “Self-expression” and “A harmless way to be who I am in a world that makes everybody try to be the same” and “It’s only the ends so if you hate it, we can just cut it off.”

Then there was a conversation with Daddy.

With words like “Wait four weeks and if you still want it, we can talk about it then” and “FOUR WEEKS?” and “That’s kind of a long time in middle school, babe” And “Fine, two weeks and we’ll revisit it.”

Then there was a conversation with Marisa.

With words like “non-toxic products” and “totally harmless” and “I’m thinking of doing it at home” and “Um, NO. I’ll do it here” and “I can’t afford that” and “No charge” and “Are you serious? Why would you do that?” and “Because I love her” and “Oh my God, I love YOU.” And, “Okay, we’re still in the waiting period; I’ll let you know.”

And then there was this …

Which started as tripping over a ball in a soccerish sort of game in PE to torn cartilage in her foot to “You might need a cast” to a walking boot.

Which might have sounded a little bit like, “This totally stinks” and “Nobody can even sign this stupid thing” and “It’s ugly and black and I’M MAD.”

Which might possibly have led her Mom to convince her Dad to forgo the waiting period and then maybe, just maybe, do this on Saturday ..

Which is a gentle, non-toxic primer for this ..

After which she finally got to see it and that’s why her face looked like this

And after all that, there was this ..

Which made someone’s face light up like this ..

Which suddenly made this ..

.. a whole lot less important.

And that, my friends is the story of how this mother became the coolest mom ever OR the biggest sucker that ever walked the earth. All depends on who you ask.

Last night, I asked Katie if she was okay with me posting these photos. She shrugged and said, “Sure,” Then she thought for a moment and added, “There may be some haters, Mama. But that’s okay; let em hate. Cause it’s not about them. It’s about me. It’s about my self-expression and my confidence and my happiness. And I’m happy and I’m confident and I’m expressing myself. So it’s all good.”

All good.

Yes indeed, kiddo.

It’s all good.

Marisa, ain’t enough words for thank you, but hopefully “happy,” “confident,” and “expressing herself” are a pretty good start. Love you, girl.

56 thoughts on “all good

  1. My friend dies her hair like that. But she’s got blonde hair and a brighter pink. I say you are only young once go for it. As long as she’s doing it for her.

    You are a cool mom. but also a good mom. Haters go hate elsewhere. She looks great and is having fun being her.

  2. If I were 11, I’d totally do this myself! She’s an amazing young lady and applause to you for giving her this one. It’s not going to hurt her or anyone else and it looks pretty darn good!

  3. It looks awesome! I love it!!! I had purple chunks framing my face in college (with black hair). Oh, to be so young and cool again, lol!
    Jess, as always, you’re a super awesome mom, and you’ve got one super awesome kid there. 🙂

  4. I love it! Such a beautiful girl inside and out! (and my 11 yr old son with autism… he thinks she’s pretty, too!) He saw her hair and said “COOL!”

  5. She looks awesome! But I’m not going to lie here – I would have let her to her whole head pink! My eight year old (with Asperger’s) had hair as long as Katie’s – she asked me to cut it all off. I was a bit taken a back – having “suffered” the constant short hair style in my youth because of a single father who just couldn’t be bothered. I asked if she would prefer a bob, “no, cut it all off”. I talked with her about how other children might react, asking her if she was a boy or a girl…”Muma, I don’t care what other people think, if I have to – I’ll wear a pin that says “I’m a girl”” Ok, so finally I gave in. We cut it all off. She looked gorgeous – not unlike a child’s version of Twiggy really. And then she said “I want it blue”. So, here I was – in the “self expression mode” so I went out and found some manic panic (a vegetable based semi permanent dye that comes out in about 10 washes) and we dyed her hair blue. I was worried…what would the other children say? She’s already considered an oddball at school. But as soon as she walked in to class all I could hear was “wow! Your hair is so cool!!!” And I took a breath of relief. Of course, I think it’s pretty obvious that she wouldn’t have cared if they said anything at all. 😉

    • Does your daughter have light colored hair? My 8 yo aspie girl wants pink hair too, but can’t afford to have salon do it. Wondering if the product works good on brown hair?

      • She does have blond hair – so the manic panic worked easily. But I know I have seen semi permanent hair dyes at Pharmacy’s (Shoppers Drug Mart) that are specifically made for dark hair. Once used one on my eldest child who has dark brown hair and it worked. Sorry, can’t remember the name if it off hand.

  6. Beautiful girl inside and out. Our middle schooler daughter had a boot for most of 7th grade and a wheel chair, too. When we were shopping one day, Meg in the wheelchair and our youngest (who has Down syndrome) in the cart, an older woman asked her friend if we were a family or a group home. I was just recovering from a cancer battle, so Meg said, “well, at least your hair has grown back, or they would have thought we were escaping from the group home.”

  7. The hair looks great! The stylist did a fantastic job. It adds some fun, but it’s subtle and classy. Super cool 🙂

  8. Well I think it looks pretty damn cool! And anyway, it’s only hair, it’s not like she asked for an ear spacer thingy!!

  9. Every time I see a photo of your daughter, I want to tell you how absolutely beautiful she is. Like, drop dead empirically gorgeous. Then you share things that she says and I think that even though she is so absolutely beautiful, the beauty and strength she has on the inside is even greater.

  10. She is adorable! In high school, I wore my hair short and spiky, dyed the front blond and had a checkerboard pattern cut into the back…they even voted me “most likely to exhaust the world’s supply of hair products”! Somehow I still turned out ok, and appreciated the chance to have my own style! Hope Katie enjoys her new look!!

  11. But seriously, where did you find this tiny Maya Angelou, this mini Oprah Winfrey, this little wise one? Or should I ask, how do you raise one? Consistently amazes me.

  12. My aspie girl (who is 8) wants this too. Unfortunately, momma is laid off right now so it is not going to happen. Tell Katie I love it!

    • If her hair is light colored you can do it with kool-aid. It lasts for quite a while. There are instructions online. My niece did it and stayed in for a couple of weeks. 🙂

  13. Dear Katie,
    Your left foot matches my left foot right now! I’m sorry, because the boot doesn’t look awesome (but at least its soft on the inside). But you know what? People can still sign your cast. Go find a couple of those sparkly gold and silver sharpies! They show up really nicely on black, and it’ll make your cast sparkle. 🙂 And also, your hair looks fabulous.

  14. I don’t understand the moms that take their 5-6 year olds for mani/pedis, but this I get. Awesome job, awesome look. Wonderful self-expression Katie. Thanks for giving us a peek at the evolution of the initial request. Awesome parenting.

  15. She’s beautiful, inside and out! I love it! Is it bad that I’m getting ready to turn 42 and I would love to do that to my hair? Lol

    • 42 is not old, in fact, anyone can pull it off -you just needs some chutzpah (sp?). I’m 42 and have dyed my hair (naturally brown-black) with streaks of red, and chamomile, and have recently done an ombre (what Katie did) effect with red. Do it, you’re young only once -then you die.

  16. I love it! I did my tips blue for Autism Awareness month and got so many compliments. The great thing about it being the tips, it’s easy to cut off if she gets bored with it.

  17. I think it looks great! And she’s right…it’s not a big commitment; you can cut them off later, or dye them back. It’s only hair, not piercings or tats…

  18. I’m way toooo conservative. Wish I had to GUTS to do it or allow my kid to do it…. But, my kiddo wants rainbow hair… And since I am so conservative, the words that came out were more like “When your 18 and you still want rainbow hair, we will see.” Which is still way better than a NO WAY.

    PS. Katie’s Georgous. Looks Cute. Mom approves. Dad said yes. Life is good. ENJOY!!!

    Blessings today!!!

  19. Gorgeous!! Ask Katie if 36 is too old to do that. Mention that I am still “semi cool” as I have a few tattoos,still go to see bands and my husband works for a record company;) When I was 16 I went through something where I decided to be me..which meant dying my blonde hair magenta and abandoning my oh so popular clique of friends and hanging out with people who I had things in common with. I got lots of shit but came out with a real sense of who I was and the type of person I wanted to be. You are definitely a cool mom and Katie is an awesome girl.

  20. LOVE IT! Thanks for sharing. So I will tell you that I feel your pain: I took my daughter (also entering 6th/middle school this yr) to my guy on Newbury St the week before school started. My husband was really NOT happy to put it very mildly. But she has more hair than anyone, and it is beautiful and red and crazy curly (like mine exc for the color) and she needed the help. She came out a new person, learning how to style and love her curly hair. Now my DH says “she’s really coming into her own; she’s so comfortable with herself.” I say “never underestimate the value of a Newbury st haircut, honey”…or pink dipped ends you have chosen for yourself. Go Katie!

  21. Very cool. I think it is the current trend to color the ends these days. I personally can relate to the self expression myself. Many different styles, colors .. It’s fun

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