~
The following is dangerously unedited. Godspeed.
Prepping for today’s IEP meeting
The big one
The one where we plan for next year
Fifth grade
The very last year before …
*Cue Jaws Music*
… middle school
Placement
Support
Goals
No
Wait
Goals
Support
Placement
Better, yes?
Reading reports this morning
My stomach in knots
Words like
Deficits
Challenges
Criterion
Borderline
Severe
Anxious
Shut down
Unable
Below
Weak
Struggles
It’s easy to miss the other words
The ones she started with
Delightful
Curious
Personable
Endearing
Charming
Funny
Progress
Capable
Yup, they’re right there too
Before the pages and pages and pages of what’s hard
They’re there
In black and white
On record
In the report
Written by the SLP who not only knows her — truly, really knows her — but clearly adores her
And better — better? — respects her
Those words are there
Delightful
Curious
Personable
Endearing
Charming
Funny
Progress
Capable
And they are every bit as true and real and salient as the others
It is my job to remember
To remind
That for every deficit there’s a delight
For every challenge there’s progress
Forward
Forward
Forward
We’ll decide on goals
Then placement
Then support
Because that
That is the order
It’s my job to remember
To remind
That the overarching goal
The one from which all others derive
Is not uniformity
No
It’s not keeping up with a timeline that’s not hers
No
It’s being Brooke
Brooke – in all her …
Delightful
Curious
Personable
Endearing
Charming
Funny
Capable
… glory
With the tools to be
Happy
Fulfilled
Successful by her own measure
Which IS success by any other
Yes
It’s my job to remember
To remind
That for every deficit there’s a delight
For every challenge there’s progress
For every weakness there’s strength
We’ll start there, shall we?
With the strengths
With all that my girl CAN do
I hope they’ve got time
It’s a long list
Then we can talk about support for the areas in which she struggles
And then Brooke
Brooke will talk
She will say whatever she wants us to hear
My money is on a team cheer
Any takers?
And cheer we will
Because we are HER team
Team Brooke
It is my job to remember
To remind
There is no Team Brooke without Brooke
To ensure that she’s there
In the room
Sowing the seeds of self-advocacy
Working toward the goals
That ultimately she will set
For now we’ll go with
Happy
Fulfilled
Successful by her own measure
Forward
Forward
Forward
For our …
Delightful
Curious
Personable
Endearing
Charming
Funny
Capable
… girl.
*
Showtime.
Oh, Sweetheart, I so understand your angst. As difficult as it may be, you get Brooke’s needs met every year without fail. I have no reason to think it won’t be the same this year.
Love you,
Mom
Wishing you all Good Luck today!!! You’ve ALL got this. I’m pretty confident in that! 5th grade?!? Where does the time go? Too fast xoxo
Holy crap – you are the mother every one of us wishes they had – if Brooke can succeed in life it will be because her mother didn’t believe she wouldn’t!
Ours is in a week. Each year, I ask myself, “Does it even matter? We can set all the goals we want, but we never seem to find a way to get there.” But I miss the improvements and the positive commentary, like you, because I’m so focused on working on the problems. The middle school transition was the reason for me leaving my job – chucking an entire career out the window so I could help my kids – so I understand your trepidation completely.
your unedited is way better than my triple edited. impressive. my thoughts are with you guys, hope super brooke and her super team have a great meeting, as anxiety filled as it may be.
I expect to hear there was a JetBlue song sung during IEP today! As the French would say, bon courage.
awesome! wish I had your gift with words and your ability to keep the main thing, the main thing!
Good luck!! She is going to do great….as usual!!
This was so well done–yes, there are strengths..and it is only right that we acknowledge them before looking at the other side. Best of luck at your meeting!
Thank you DOAM! I am recommending DOAM to all of the special education personnel that I work with. Some NEED to change their way of thinking. We NEED to listen to parents!!!
Good Luck! I am in the process of scheduling the meeting. The school wants to wait until August. I think we should do it now. Now, because then it is fresh in everyone’s mind. The fight is just beginning. They say he can’t be in a “special ed” room because he is “too smart”, but a regular classroom is too much (too much noise, commotion, people, etc etc etc). The same fight every year. The same arguments. I need them to see him. I need them to understand that he wants to try. And WANTING to try is a HUGE step forward. Hugs and prayers today. You can do this! 🙂
Sending up prayers for her IEP. That it will produce a plan that is EXACTLY what she needs, so she can keep blooming. I always worry that we’ll miss something crucial that our daughter needs. We’ll be doing our daughter’s fifth grade IEP very soon (like within the next two weeks). I’m right there with ya. It’s such a delicate balance of trusting the teachers (but still questioning), fighting for what she needs and is entitled to, and making sure that her voice is heard. It’s all about making sure she is equipped with all of the tools to be everything that God intended her to be, to reach her full potential. IEP’s are definitely not for wimps! Good luck!
Love the idea that you include Brooke, such a great idea! i cant think of a better way to start teaching self advocacy! Good luck today – although I am sure you don’t need it. When it comes down to it IEP’s are gut wrenching, definitely not for wimps 🙂
Our IEP is today, too! 1:30! Prayers and hugs for you and me! xoxo
I promise to reread this before every IEP meeting I attend and to never forget that every child is as special as Brooke. Thank you.
This is beautiful advocacy prose. Who knew such a genre of poetry existed!
I just had this conversation with our community-funded support consultant: she said our daughter was shifting from individual support in the classroom to shared support next year, because another boy with extra needs was joining the class. Long story short, I said exactly this: it is the order that is so often upside down and backwards. Funding – support – learning goals – Holly’s strengths and challenges. When it should be:
Holly’s strengths and needs
Goals
Support requirements
Search desparately for Funding
Thank you for putting this so well…
I will have my son’s very first IEP in a couple of weeks. I have never been through this so I have no idea what to expect but I hope and pray whatever happens I will be strong , like you, in advocating for my child. My Ethan is 13 and is every bit how you described your Brooke but sometimes I want so badly to just do the hard things for him but am learning (from you) it wouldn’t be right to take those experiences away from him. And this IEP is no different. I just hope and pray his day will be the answer to my prayers and school will no longer be a place he fights not to go to every day. I wish you the very best for today’s meeting but from where I’m standing (well actually sitting) you will rock the house and get it done…just sayin.
Today was our BIG IEP meeting too – my (not so) little one enters fifth grade next year as well. Like you, as I prepared I seemed to have skipped right over the strengths and sunk into the swamp of challenges. I hope that yours was like mine – a reminder that he has made SO much progress, that he has AMAZING strengths, and that we have a team who both love and RESPECT him.
I still feel totally inadequate and ignorant at these meetings. Thankfully, our local “parents'” group (I’m the gram) is meeting next week and we are discussing IEP’s. It’s been suggested we bring ours so we can be “on the same page.”
We just had ours for my son. We focused on planning many transition trips up to the new school to become familiar with both the staff and the building during this school year. We also have his old teacher and aide going with him during these trips. They are video taping him while they are there so he can keep watching it on the IPAD to become familiar with himself in that setting.