to heal


Three random photos from our visit to Hoboken on Sunday.


Because this is where I come to heal.

To remember to believe.

To restore my faith.

And my Faith.

And to refuel for the journey ahead.

Because it is long.

Because it will not be easy.

Because we cannot relent.

This is where I come to heal.



Brooke’s hand.
The bunny ears.
The dignity of sibling teasing.
My friend Barb (yes, her again) taught me that we don’t tease the ones we pity.
No pity here.
Just love.
Yes, this is where I come to heal.

19 thoughts on “to heal

  1. I love that Katie’s shirt says ‘I love you more’.
    Your blogs feel like home to me. and not so alone. I adore them.

    • Ok, so, with Barb’s enthusiastic permission, I am really happy to share this conversation here. Why? Because it changed my thinking. And I love those …

      It started with Barb sending me the link to this …

      Stuck in Autism? Click here for comic relief. (Warning: R rated):

      After reading it, I wrote this back to Barb —

      I love it. I just love it. I’ve been thinking a lot about humor — most specifically teasing — lately. My family is built on gently ribbing each other (always lovingly, never cruelly, but we do like a good dig), yet we almost never tease my autistic daughter. And I wonder, is it because we don’t think she would understand the sarcasm of our tone (which I think is a bullshit rationalization) or is it, in a totally unintentional fashion, a form of discrimination because if we were TRULY treating her equally, we’d include her in the jibes. It’s a tough line.

      And she wrote THIS back …

      yep. folk dont make fun of those they pity. pity serves no one. let it go. bring on the tease. love b

      And then I might have kinda gone all fan girl and slobbered on her because, well, right?

      So there you have it – epic change in one interaction. I love this life.

      Bring on the tease.

      • That’s it! When we stop doing what is considered typical interactions with our kids we are saying that they are less. Less able to handle it, less a part of the family, less capable of experiencing that type of joy…..just less. I don’t think that is what we mean of course but I imagine that is what is perceived. When you said “dignity of sibling teasing,” it took me a minute to get it. I was relentlessly teased as a kid by my big brother (as they do) so my first reaction was, what is so dignified about it. And that one sentence from Barb put it all in perspective. “We don’t tease the ones we pity.” Like you my family is prone to fits of ribbing and sarcasm. I have always been negative about it when my husband teases my aspie son because he is so sensitive and takes things so literally. And sometimes my son doesn’t handle it well. But lately (12 now) he has been giving it right back. And it’s a little contrived, dare I say scripted, but he smiles and is getting that it is all in fun. I think that is huge. going forward it will serve as a great lesson for him. I’m rambling now, but bottom line dignity, not pity. Love it. (it goes without saying that I’m talking about normal family/friend teasing/ribbing and not bullying or verbal abuse. just thought I’d put that out there) 😉

  2. I love Brooke’s barefeet! Someone I love more than life likes to go barefoot too. He “likes to feel the cold grass under his feet.”

  3. You may have heard Patti Griffin’s song “I Never Give Up” (not sure if that is the exact title). Just a suggestion of another place to go to heal. We certainly are unable to overload on healing. Thanks. Very nice post.

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