Next year’s packing list, notes to self:
When you have exactly enough shampoo for the family for one week, keep it away from the kid who thinks that shampoo is no more than fun goo made for creating sudsy pink rivers in the shower.
Bringing a laptop so that you’ll have it on island is a great idea. Bringing a laptop without a power cord … not as great. Your kid getting hold of said laptop and using it to play Teletubbies games until what you now have is a pretty, silver paper weight? Not great at all. Bring the cord.
When your tween says she wants to bring her favorite sweatshirt and you say no thinking that you’re actually being nice because you plan to buy her a sweatshirt on island? Every single time there is so much as a mild chill in the air the child will say some version of, “Gee, if you’d let me bring my favorite sweatshirt, I wouldn’t be cold right now,” and you will start counting the days in your head until she goes to college. Pack the damn sweatshirt.
Tweens don’t think to pack pants. On an island 30 miles off the coast of Massachusetts, one needs pants.
43 year-olds don’t always think to pack pants either. Go figure. You need pants, dipsh-t. Cute little dresses and bikes do not work together unless you’re 19. And you’re not.
Brooke will not once touch the twelve figurines that she insisted that she needed to bring. Not once. Nor the extra two that were “sad and feeling left out” that you caved and brought too. Nope. Not even them.
That extra scarf that you decided at the very last second to leave out of the bag? Yeah, you need that.
Those cute, pink flip-flops that are always falling apart while you walk so that you trip on them and then have to stop everything and put them back together? Those are the ones you brought? Seriously? Drop and give me ten.
That striped dress that you think is really flattering? No. Just no. Trust me.
And that book that you think you’re going to read? Okay, that’s a good one, Sparky. Have you met you? Cute. No.
And finally …
Really, all you need are some comfy clothes, a camera, and enough Goldfish to last a week.
Nothing else that matters gets packed in a suitcase anyway.