daddy love – it’s in the script

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. – Unknown

Last night, we took Luau out for his birthday. Since I’d been chronicling the day in pictures from the start, I had my phone close at hand. I figured I’d get a snap of the ludicrous 22-ounce steak he’d ordered or something else equally banal. Instead, what I caught was magic.

Back in September, I wrote the following on Diary’s Facebook page.

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In the pictures that follow, Luau is scripting with Brooke.

(Ed note: For more on what I mean by scripting, and to read about the evolution of Brooke’s scripts, click HERE. For further reading, click HERE and HERE.)

Every therapist we ever saw told us to discourage Brooke’s scripts. Every IEP that was ever written made their demise a goal. Until  the day that we said No More. Because we had started to understand the importance of the scripts. We had finally seen them for what they are: part of Brooke’s evolving system of communication. Her way of telling us, if we were really willing to listen, what she was feeling, what she was thinking, what she needed. The scripts were, and are, her way of connecting with us, with the world around her. Shutting them down took energy, and that energy was negative as hell. Giving in created joy. Shutting them down cut off connection. Shutting them down shut HER down.

This is what scripting looks like in our world.

It looks like a daddy connecting with his daughter.

It looks like joy.

It looks like love.

(It looks like a damn good dad.)

Note, the pictures are raw, unedited, and unfiltered, just like life.

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Happy birthday, Luau.

You’re doing it right.

21 thoughts on “daddy love – it’s in the script

  1. I couldn’t possibly agree more. Removing a method of communication from a child who doesn’t communicate in a typical way is like taking away her voice completely… and so very wrong. It merely takes a little reading between the “lines” of the scripts to understand what she’s trying to say… and the small measure of effort is soooo worth the pay-off! ❤ The pictures are amazing… love each and every one of them. Happy Birthday, Luau! – Angie

  2. We have never discouraged Little Miss’s scripting. As a student of the English language (I have both my bachelors and masters in English), watching the development of language — even through an atypical pattern — is absolutely beautiful. Some folks will think I’m nuts, but for me, watching language evolve has the same beauty as the evolution of a snowflake.

    Little Miss’s first scripts still remain a critical part of her communication repertoire — even more so now that I have taken the critical steps to understand their meaning and significance. It’s like learning English all over again, but with the beautiful, melodic touch that Little Miss adds to everything in her life.

    Cheers, friend… and happy birthday to a pretty amazing dad!

  3. Oh, these pictures make me so happy! Yes to scripting! Yes to squealing! Yes to being free to be our authentic selves. Happiest of days, Luau! You have a beautiful family!

  4. Thank you for posting this Jess. I have often asked therapist if it’s good for my son to do this and if I should be indulging him. Now I know my answer. Thanks for making it clear to me. Of course…why would I want to shut down what he wants to do, who he wants to be? These pictures are amazing. The joy on both their faces is amazing and brought tears to my eyes. Happy Birthday Luau. 🙂

  5. This is beautiful. Thank you for the reminder. We too have tried to discourage our son’s scripts. But there are moments when I see – it’s his way of connecting and sharing. Particularly in those times when he’s doing it to relate rather than just because he doesn’t know what to do, I love to look right in his eyes, see that smile staring back at me, and join in.

  6. I remember when going out was so very difficult for you. I know it is still an adventure but seems to be so much easier. A blessedly happy birthday, Luau, and blessings of Christmas to you all.

  7. It’s all he does and all you do that helps her grow. She loves and trusts her daddy and her mama and that makes it all work. He is a special guy all around.
    Love,
    Dad

  8. Reblogged this on Walkin' on the edge and commented:
    An absolutely lovely post, and so much progress made 🙂
    My son doesn’t script. He has favorite songs, etc., but he has “typical” verbal communication abilities. If your child DOES script, please read Diary’s posts related to this. Scripting is often communication (from everything I’ve read by parents and autistic adults). Stopping scripting stops a potential avenue for communication – our most desired and NEEDED thing that we need.

  9. Pingback: Why I Love Scripting | AmplifyAutism

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