a diary of a mom

On December 31st, my inbox fills with last-minute pleas from every Tom, Dick and Harry looking for money before the end of the year. It’s understandable, given that there are obvious financial benefits to maxing out one’s tax-credit allowance within the calendar year, but, let’s be honest, it’s gotten to the point where requests are so ubiquitous that we simply start to tune them out as white noise.

This year, I don’t want to let that happen. I don’t want the individual voices of need to get lost in a chorus of “Pick me!”s.

The truth is that I’m already well over the threshold of reaping any financial benefit of charitable giving. As my income has shrunken dramatically over the past few years, I’ve found it extremely difficult to pare back my support for the causes that I hold so dear. We’ve had to, of course, and while some of the decisions were heart-wrenching, others were made far easier by organizations stepping so far away from their stated missions that we quite emphatically discontinued our support. But others? Well, it remains nearly impossible to say no.

As our economy has contracted, so have vital programs disappeared and resource pools evaporated. But the need that they served hasn’t – and won’t- go away.

These are a four of the many charities that Luau and I chose to support this year. I hope that if you are considering a last-minute donation before midnight, or looking toward planning next year’s giving, you’ll consider them as beneficiaries. Or that you’ll be moved to find organizations in your own area that support local folks who need help.

As Laurence Leamer so beautifully wrote in the King of the Night, “The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist.”

{image is the Wounded Warrior homepage, on which a veteran sits in a chair holding a prosthetic leg. We can see in the photo that both of his legs are prosthetic as well. Click on the photo for more information.}

I abhor war. I am a pacifist by nature and I believe that violence is self-perpetuating and that the military industrial complex really is the root of an awful lot of evil.

I also believe that what I believe about war has nothing to do with the soldiers who are honor and duty-bound to fight them. And above all, I believe that we are ALL honor and duty-bound to care for those soldiers and their families when they return.

Since September 11th alone, Operations Iraqi Freedom, Enduring Freedom and New Dawn have left 6,846 soldiers dead, 52,293 physically wounded, and 320,000 with traumatic brain injuries. Additionally, over 400,000 of our soldiers suffer profound PTSD. (Source here.)

As federal resources have dwindled, those folks have been left to make their own way across a frayed tightrope without a net. That’s just not okay. It’s not okay for the soldiers, it’s not okay for their families, and it sure as hell isn’t okay for us as a society to send people into war and then leave them to fend for themselves on the other side. It’s not who we are. It’s not who I’m willing to be.

Wounded Warriors addresses the real and immediate needs of these soldiers. Through Project Odyssey they teach coping skills for PTSD. They offer family support, peer mentoring, economic empowerment through career transitioning services, adaptive sports events, and community engagement. They are doing the work that needs to be done. And they need our help to do it.

Click HERE to learn more.

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{image is a screenshot from the St Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital homepage showing two researchers discussing a scan. The text reads, “Cutting-edge research. St Jude laboratories may not be in your community, but our discoveries are.”}

On the invitations to Katie’s first birthday party, we asked guests to donate to St Jude’s in lieu of gifts. So many did and nearly thirteen years later, she loves reading through the pile of cards marking the donations to the hospital made in her name.

Some time later, we signed on to be Partners in Hope, setting up an auto-pay donation every month. It’s one of the best things we’ve ever done. St Jude’s protocols are shared freely with hospitals around the world. Pediatric cancer patients’ survival rates have gone from 20% to 80%. They are saving our children’s lives, whether we see their name on the door or not, and they never, ever charge their patients a dime.

Click HERE to learn more.

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{image is the Autistic Self Advocacy Network logo and motto, “Nothing About Us Without Us.” Click on the image for more information.}

For far too long, the conversation around autism has been, and sadly, continues to be, led by those who are not autistic. The problems with this are deep and far-reaching. Advocacy organizations like Autism Speaks continue to look at autism from the perspective of caregivers rather than autistic people, and in so doing, advocate in ways that unwittingly do far more harm than good.

ASAN does its damnedest to ensure that autistic people have a voice in the establishment of their own priorities, have a say in where and how they want to live, are consulted in whatever way possible when it comes time to make decisions about their lives. A couple of years ago, ASAN’s President, Ari Ne’eman signed a copy of the Loud Hands Anthology to Brooke. This is what he wrote.

{image is a photo of Ari’s signature, sloppily photoshopped to disguise Brooke’s real name. it reads, “To Brooke, Self-advocacy is your birthright. Look us up whenever you’re ready.”}

I give to ASAN because I want to ensure that they are there when my girl is ready.

Click HERE to learn more.

{image is a blend of two photos on the homepage of Massachusetts Advocates for Children (MAC). It shows a smiling young boy in the foreground and two young men working together in the background. Click on the photo for more information.}

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