snowmaggedon 2015 – a fuhluckload of snow

Ed note: The following contains sarcasm. A lot of it.

Screen shot 2015-01-28 at 6.17.39 AM

{image is the front page of CNN on Monday night, which looked exactly like the front page of every news source in the country. The top headline reads, “Historic storm set to slam Northeast; airlines cancel flights}

By Monday night, it was clear we wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while. This was what I posted on Diary’s Facebook page:

Snowmageddon is coming. A state of emergency has officially been declared, schools, business and municipal services shuttered, and a travel ban instituted.

We are staring down the business end of a whole lot of togetherness here, people.

Meanwhile, I’ve got a teenager who is singing show tunes on a loop while perfecting the art of the quick mood change and an autistic eleven year old who has become enamored with the sound of the word, “vagina,” and is therefore walking around the house alternating between singing the theme song to Calliou and saying the word, “vagina.”

To put it another way, wine.

On Tuesday morning, we were officially snowed in.


{image is the view from our back door on Tuesday morning. The dogs are barely visible beneath the snow.} 

For the first time in my career, I had to call into work because of weather. The travel ban was in effect and Mama wasn’t about to go rogue. This is how that went:

Highlights of Snowmaggedon, Day One:

Katie pretended to be asleep in her room while actually reading throughout most of the morning, giving Brooke the chance to wander around the house saying, “vagina,” undeterred. What, you thought that was a one-day thing? You must be new around here. Welcome.

When Katie got up – er, out of bed, she regaled us with the most outrageous questions she could find on Yahoo Answers. My personal (least) favorite was the guy asking for advice on how to convince his girlfriend to stop pooping in their shared bathroom once daily because, despite her “ludicrous” protestations that girls have to poop too, he thinks it’s both gross and unnecessary.

Brooke then stopped saying vagina just long enough to try to trick Katie into saying the F word in order to get her in trouble. Sadly, this ain’t her sister’s first rodeo. Katie didn’t fall for it and when asked to, “Just say the word that starts with F and rhymes with suck,” said, “Fuhluck. Nice try, Brooke.”

Tune in later for more ‘Togetherness Is Awesome, 2015.’

By noon, we had to get ourselves out and about somehow. Seventeen hours later <hyperbole>, we managed to bundle everyone enough to handle base camp at Everest. Or the tiny hill a half mile away from our house.


{image is a photo of the girls heading out into the snow, which is up to their thighs.}


{image is a photo of our dogs, Lucy and Winston, in the snow, which is higher than their bodies.}

Both of our dogs love the snow, but Lucy, who came to us from Louisiana, had never seen it until she got here. Clearly, she’s a fan.


{video is of Lucy’s first foray into the snow yesterday. She’s, um, happy.}

Katie was determined to sled in the yard. That wasn’t … well, yeah.


{image is a photo of Katie sitting on a sled going nowhere fast while Brooke holds its leash, apparently to ensure that she doesn’t go nowhere too fast.}

They even tried to enlist Winston’s help.


Sled dog.



{image is a photo of Katie sitting on the sled, still going nowhere, Brooke standing behind her maybe supervising, and Winston sitting in front of her, well, sitting. Good boy, Winston.}

Clearly it was time for a new plan.


{image is a photo of Brooke making a snow angel.}


{image is a photo of said angel. If you look closely, it sort of looks like Princess Leia. You’re welcome.}

And then we decided to hit the road. We got off to a slow start. A very slow start. In waist deep snow, a half a mile was going to take us until the thaw.


{image is a photo of Luau and the girls in the snow.}

Despite the plowed street, Luau insisted that we walk where the sidewalks would normally be to be safe. Someone had a better idea.


{image is a photo of Brooke climbing into the sled that Luau was dragging behind him.}

After a whole lot of resistance, Sammy Safety agreed that since there was a travel ban, meaning there were NO CARS ON THE ROAD, DEAR, we could walk in the road rather than trudging through the waist-high snow on the non-existent sidewalks. That said, every time a plow came within a half a mile of us, he’d shout for us all to jump into the nearest snow bank until it passed. This might be slightly exaggerated. Or not. Go with not.


{image is a photo of Luau pulling Brooke down the street in the sled.}

After realizing just how out of shape two of us are, we made it to the hill. (Note: to get to the top of a hill, you have to climb it. Yeah, I know that’s obvious. Thanks.)


{image is a photo of Katie in the snow at the top of the hill, perfectly content to just “sit here for a while, thanks.”}

Meanwhile, Luau and Brooke took the first crack at the sled.


{image is a photo of Luau pushing Brooke in the sled. He doesn’t realize they’re kind of far from the crest of the hill. I guess I probably should have said something, but taking pictures is helpful too, right?}


{image is a photo of Luau now on the sled with her, but still way too far from the actual slope to be moving. I love how she’s just sitting there so completely calmly. She clearly knows this is going to take a while.}

Not to worry, they did finally get going.


{image is a photo of Brooke and Luau at the bottom of the hill. I know it doesn’t look like much of a hill from here. That’s mostly because it’s not.}

Then it was time for Katie and me to give it a go.

I have no idea how to describe what you’re about to see. I’ll just go with what I posted on Facebook yesterday.

So, um, we went sledding. Well, kinda.

Note: I thought Luau was taking a photo of us as I tried to push Katie on the sled before jumping on to join her. It turned out that he took a video. In slow motion. He says you’re welcome.

{in the video, you have to look carefully to see that I am behind Katie in the sled. The problem (well, *a* problem) was that when I jumped in, I landed on my knees and had no stability.) The foot and leg that you see emerge seemingly out of thin air are mine as we lose control and I go over the side and disappear into the snow, which happens almost immediately. The spooky sounds are my and Katie’s shrieks in slo mo.}

Yes, that Chewbacca sound really is what we sound like when we scream in slo mo. I know.

Katie, exhausted from the walk and, ya know, being a teenager, which is apparently VERY tiring, kept asking Luau to pull her back up the hill on the sled, a la a ski lift. He finally made a deal with her: if she could pull him up once, he’d take her up ten times. It was a pretty safe wager.


{image is a photo of Katie trying to pull Luau in the sled. She yelled to me to help, so I did. By taking a picture. You’re welcome, honey. Any time.}

On the way home, I asked Luau to stop in front of this snow drift for a picture to show how high it was. He sat down. Which sort of, kind of, well, COMPLETELY defeated the purpose of the picture. Love you, dear. Could you stand up, please?


{image is a photo of Luau sitting in front of the snow drift. Hmm, I wonder if that snow drift is big. No real way to tell is there?}

Ah, yes. There we go. My, what a large snow drift that is.


{image is a photo of Luau, who is six feet tall, standing in front of a snow drift which is higher than his head.}

And then we passed another one. Which proved to be the perfect place for a rest.


{image is a photo of the girls lying down together in a snow bank. Well, Brooke is lying there with Katie. Katie is just kind of lying there.}

After our adventures, went home and pretty much did more of that last picture, but without the snow clothes.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to wrap it up there because I’ve got a car to dig out of the snow. And by “dig out of the snow,” I mean wake up Luau and ask him to help me dig my car out of the snow. And by “help me,” I mean, ya know, kinda do it while I get dressed.

Love you, honey.

A lot.

There you have it, friends.

Snowmaggendon 2015.

6 thoughts on “snowmaggedon 2015 – a fuhluckload of snow

  1. Great post – I loved all the pictures. We live in Minnesota so we are a little more used to a bunch of snow, but I was still glad it was someone elses turn 🙂 Glad you got outside to enjoy it.

  2. Looks like you guys found a way to have fun despite the fuhluck load of snow! I’m in NJ. We were supposed to get quite a bit of that snow as well, but we weren’t hit as hard. Love reading your blog.

  3. I tried to share this link on facebook, but couldnt 😦
    I wanted to share this….the end is kind of “unexpected” but the rest is awesome.
    Hope you like it….

    Autism: Give me a Chance and I will Change Everything | Noah Britton | TEDxNewEnglandCollege
    Take care, Mariana

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