so i became one

On Tuesday afternoon, I posted the following on Diary’s Facebook page.

For four years, Katie has been asking for her own laptop. For four years, we’ve been telling her that it just wasn’t doable. She recently began saving to buy herself one. She’s gotten almost nowhere.

My dad asked me the other day what she might like for her birthday in two weeks. I suggested that perhaps he could contribute some money to her laptop savings. He said no and told me to think of something else. I promised I would.

An hour ago, the doorbell rang. Not in a million years would I have thought he would do this. He’s not a (financially) rich man. When I told him how overwhelmed I was by his generosity, his voice cracked. “I always wanted a grandfather who did things like this,” he said, “so I became one.”

{images are photos of Katie after opening her very own Mac Book, which, for the record, is far nicer than anything either of her parents owns. And yes, she’s wearing Gryffindor pants, a Gryffindor hat, and a Boston University Quidditch sweatshirt, as you do.}


Screen shot 2015-02-19 at 6.10.28 AM

{image is a collage of photos of Katie after opening the VERY unexpected gift}

So many of you got it.

Got that it wasn’t the cost nor the extravagance of the gift (even though OhMyGod he bought her a friggin laptop), but the idea within it that was the far greater gift – to Katie, to me, to all of us.

The lesson that we can fill our own empty spaces by becoming for others what we wish that others had been for us.

“I always wanted a grandfather who did things like this,” he said.

That in so doing, we can heal, we can grow, we can find something far bigger, far more wondrous and astounding and beautiful in the presence than there ever might have been in the absence.

That our histories need not be our futures.

“So I became one.”

That we are capable of the becoming – of the expanding and the healing and the growing and the changing of the patterns that we thought were all that we knew.

That what we never had can, in and of itself, be the vehicle for creation.

That we can BECOME what we always yearned to find outside of ourselves.

And that by becoming, we can create a new paradigm for those who will follow. One built on the the presence rather than the absence.

“I always wanted a grandfather who did things like this,” he said, “so I became one.”

An incredible gift indeed.


{image is one of my all-time favorite photos, from our visit to Long Island last summer: Papa, Grandma Noe, Brooke, Katie and Jasper the horse, who is far more interested in eating the grass than taking a photo.}



13 thoughts on “so i became one

  1. This was so nice for you to do and I appreciate it. You always do” more than you can”, and it is always so wonderful.I love you so much,Dad

    • My one grandpa died at last January. He was very understanding at me, but he refused to be honest at me, for my grandma. It is very difficult at explaining the entire family dynamic. But reading at your tentativeness to hug Brooke, and willingness to do all you can to make your grandchildren at happy, I want to say thanks at you.

  2. I have always have this notion of being the best of everything I never got! The best loving, caring, teacher, friend, helper, trustworthy person and on and on. So I get it when your Dad said it! He’s the kind of person we need most!

  3. I can’t find the words to express how much I love this post and the heart of you and your dad.

    You and your posts and stories inspire me, make me laugh and always make me think. Thank you for sharing your life with us as you do. You, and your family are what the best of the world looks like. ❤ 🙂

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