the light 

For years, I have said that even in the darkest night, there is light if you look hard enough. 

Early in this horrific process, I decided that I’d been full of crap. That my view of the world had been naive and my optimism quaint. But now, in the center of this storm, I can say that it is true. 

The endless parade of people coming through the house over the last two days to tell Noelle how much they love her. 

The grace, elegance, humor, generosity, and love with which she has received them. 

The dignity and poise with which she walks this road. The pure, unfiltered intimacy born of walking it with her, for as long as we can. 

The laughter – the moments in which the memories bubble up and overflow and stories of mischief and joy fill the room and her beautiful face lights up and the Hard is coated, eased, lightened as the laughter lingers. 

The middle of the night when she stirs and my dad immediately materializes by her side and says, “I’m here, my love. I’m right here.” The tremendous comfort she takes in his presence. 

The gratitude – so many people thanking her for making their world better and brighter, funnier, more beautiful. 

Above all, the love. The moment when, in the depths of grief, at the epicenter of this unimaginable pain, my father hugs his granddaughters and, through his tears, says, “I wish for you a love like this.”

Yes, even in the darkest night, there is light … if you look hard enough. 

12 thoughts on “the light 

  1. Your writings are always so real and touching. Thanks for your honesty, it both touches and teaches, more than you may realize.

  2. I am walking this road with you as we speak. I am comforted by your words. My heart and spirit travel with you on this journey, sharing my strength… Calling for peace for your Dad, for Noe, for your family and friends…. They teach us how to live…. And more importantly, they teach us how to die, with grace and dignity. God bless.

  3. may we all find this kind of love. Thank you for continuing to share the happy stuff, the hard stuff, the light and the dark. Love shows up.

  4. Noelle will be a tremendous loss to all of you. I have always been grateful that she loved you, Luau and the children so very much and was loved by all of you in return.

    I bleed for your Dad, and for all of you.

    Love you,
    Mom

    • That was beautiful, Mom, and shows the unconditional love that surrounds and circulates throughout your family. God Bless all of you as you stand in this very hard place of goodbye. Sending hugs and prayers….Diana

  5. I just wanted to let you know I went through a very similar event only a couple years ago. It feels like yesterday. You are in my thoughts as this is one of the hardest experiences to endure and you are doing it so well. Hugs from me to you.

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