Posted in September 2015

my special day

my special day

{image is a photo of blue, pink, and yellow streamers stretching across a doorway in my bedroom} Last night, just before bed, Brooke announced that she was going to go up and get things ready for “Mama’s special day.” Since my birthday is in August and Mother’s Day is in May and I really couldn’t … Continue reading

where she is

where she is

We had come to the park to see the tree. Noe’s tree, we’d started calling it. Before Noelle died, she made it very clear that she did not want to be buried in a cemetery. Instead, she wanted her ashes scattered over her favorite meadow — the one to which she escaped atop her beautiful, … Continue reading

a new friend

{image is a photo of Brooke, taken by Katie last weekend. She is squatting in the sand and looking back over her shoulder smiling.} Saturday … Brooke and I are at the mall. It’s not going well. In fact, it’s going pretty damned not well. She asks to go into the toy store. I know … Continue reading

back to school night

back to school night

{image is a photo of Brooke, heading off to school at the beginning of the month.} I’m just going to come out and say this. I have very (okay VERY) mixed feelings about back to school nights. I love seeing what my girl does every day — what her world looks like and feels like, … Continue reading

five

September. This damned month gets me every time. It’s like a Dickens novel, A Tale of Two Months. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Preach it, Charles. I’ve been struggling this September. Hard. I’ve been fighting the world and fighting myself and winding up completely overwhelmed and wanting nothing … Continue reading

conner on paper clouds – believe!

{image is a photo of Katie, Conner, and Brooke together at Disney World in May of 2014.} There is a handful of people in this world who know that the keys to Diary are always theirs for the asking. Two of them live under my roof (and look an awful lot like me.) They both know … Continue reading

self-advocacy

When I first started at this (whatever this may be) I noticed that Autistic people who fought for recognition, acceptance, and support for, well, Autistic people were most commonly referred to by others as self-advocates. So I followed suit. It seemed an appropriate designation as they are, I reasoned, advocates for themselves. Later, as it has … Continue reading

the invitation 

{image is a photo of Brooke at Surfside Beach on Nantucket, dancing with the sea.} For years, I lamented the moments in which my girl, in the word I’d have used, “disconnected.” (I hate this next sentence, but the truth of it cannot be denied.) When my girl, as I was so sure she did, … Continue reading

sunrise sunset, a back to school retrospective

sunrise sunset, a back to school retrospective

Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers, blossoming even as we gaze.   Sunrise, Sunset I’m going to pretend that I’m creating this post for Brooke. She loves retrospectives, though she might not call them that. (You might recall that time I found her googling “Brooke’s birthday” to find photos of her early birthday parties on Diary. I do.) … Continue reading

untitled 

Parenting can be hard.  . Every kind of parenting.  The enormity of the responsibility can be downright terrifying at times and both the physical and emotional demands of the day-to-day can be completely overwhelming. I like to joke that it’s like the Peace Corps – the toughest job you’ll ever love.  Parents bitch about parenting. … Continue reading