Tagged with autism siblings

or water

Katie (5) and Brooke (3), 2007 * It is 2007. Luau and I are sitting at the kitchen table, interviewing a home service provider. Or perhaps she’s interviewing us. I don’t know which end is up. I just know that we need help. Brooke is three years old. She lives in a state of frustration. All we … Continue reading

braver than you believe

* The note I left in Katie’s lunchbox this morning * Thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for telling me your own stories in return. Thank you for never letting me forget that as isolating as this journey can be, neither I nor my children are on it alone. … Continue reading

innocence lost – the siblings

* Katie and Brooke ~ Photo by Kathleen Connerton * Their innocence lost, they had to be braver and more generous than children should have to be. ~ Eustacia Cutler, speaking of her other children – Temple’s siblings. My heart is breaking. It’s too much tonight. These kids – these amazing little people – carry the … Continue reading

take two

Diary of a Mom Facebook Status ~ December 3 at 7:36am The plan for today is the Radio City Christmas Spectacular with Uncle Paul and his family. When he first suggested it, we were just coming off of our success at Godspell and I felt emboldened to try. But anxiety is running HIGH this morning … Continue reading

mix mix mix

* It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Well, at least sort of. Oh, hell, maybe not. Maybe it was a crap idea from the start, but I really thought it would be fun. Perhaps I should have known when I was holding a crying Brooke on the stairs just because I’d … Continue reading

i need a bigger bumper

* Bumper Sticker from Bumper Art * You know those bumper stickers? The ones that say Proud Parent of an Honor Student at Such and Such Elementary? Well, I’m thinking of making one. But mine might look a little different. You see, I’m a really proud parent. And though there are a million directions in … Continue reading

i understand – reprise

* How is it – how can it possibly be – that my nine-year old daughter gets this? How is it that we, as adults, spend so much of our time trying so hard to placate one another – trying to FIX it for each other – whatever IT may be – or trying to … Continue reading

the journal and the paper chain

We interrupt our usual programming this morning to share a couple of utterly fabulous ideas from Diary readers. I can take no credit for either of these – at least not yet. Perhaps when the statute of limitations is up, then I can start claiming them as my own. In the meantime, I give you … Continue reading

a pink sock sorry

Katie has finally come apart at the seams. Lest there be any doubt, she is sobbing, face down into the basement sofa. Her rib cage rises and falls, rises and falls. I cannot comfort her. Brooke orbits the basement. She is frenetic. She gathers the hammock swing in her hands and steps up on the … Continue reading

dear katie

** I sat down to write a letter to my sweet Katie this morning. To apologize to her. To let her know that I get it. That sometimes it takes her Mama a little longer than the average bear to see – to really see what’s right before me, but I get it now. To … Continue reading